Talking about Nepal and foreign cultures

How many of us believe that the marriages are made in the heaven? But, this belief still prevails at least in the Hindu rhetoric like in Nepal and India, if not in most of the European or Western cultures. Marriages and divorces have become a commonplace in such cultures, and love or even sex before marriage seems to be normal occurrence.  Even having a baby from the one whom you are going to marry with or even from someone else wouldn’t make so much disturbance, as we have seen a number of renowned personalities, or let’s say the celebrities, having been engaged as such.

Being a Nepali citizen, we believe or been made to believe that “love happens once in a life-time,” while holding up with a single partner for a life-time seems to be rare in most of the developed parts of the world. Though the practice of love before marriage ultimately to be entitled as love-marriage is slowly pacing in our culture as well, the idea of having intercourse or a having a baby with your partner before marriage is still a taboo over here.

As if a girl is pregnant before marriage, the child and the relationship itself is even termed as “illegal” and it is a social taboo.  In the ancient times there was no such culture like marriage.
During the long and stringent course of human evolution marriage came to be an important part of human life. Marriage has been discovered to allow the couples to increase the credibility of their relationship.
It has been designed to make their relationship recognized, as a husband and a wife, in the society and according to the law.

Especially according to the culture in Nepal, India, or many other Asian regions, the marriages of a girl or a boy are most of the time arranged by their parents or guardians. So what it implies is that couple must learn to love after they are married. A sort of challenge is there, as they are completely anonymous of each-other’s character, perception, or any other taking in life, until a couple is woven in an intimate relationship. And in the due course, they happen to explore each other’s standing and, of course, they should accept and even adore however their husband or wife is, as marriages in our culture aren’t meant to break-up that easily, but is meant to bond each other “forever.”

Another intriguing aspect of our culture is that a daughter after becoming a bride should leave her maternal home and do to her husband’s house. It looks much challenging to her than her husband as she has to adopt herself in an alien environment and that completely different from where she had related and experienced since the years of her life.

The young generation, rapidly influenced by the Western cultures and opting for the modern spectrum, however looks desired to refrain from the same old rhetoric. We see a lot of youngsters, even at their early teenage years, coupling with the opposite sexes, as vibrantly imported cultures like Valentine’s Day is vigorously celebrated by the number of youngsters in our country too. But, does this mean the old trend is finally on the brink to discontinue? Not yet.

Yes, there has been arising a different view upon marriage upon the young generation of modern Nepal. They have been up with a new view that couples should recognize each other before being engaged for a life-time. Love-marriage rather than the one arranged by their parents is also becoming rampant in the urban areas of the country. But still the majority of the people follow the same old trend, that marriages to be organized and arranged by their elders.

Another interesting aspect that the modern generation has vowed to change is that getting married with the cast other than one relates to. The citizens of Nepal bears a lot of casts and religion and the discrimination associated with it. According to the superstitious and cultural background it is believed that so-called higher caste of a society must refrain from marrying a person from the so-called lower caste. However, the inter-cast marriage has begun to be practiced by some countable population, but the practice hasn’t yet made a significant implication.

If a girl or a boy is found to have married with someone with different caste or religion, he/she should be ready to bear the brunt of it as they become the subject of intimidation from the very eye of the society. And such trend is much effective in the rural and more ignorant societal aspects being still prevailed by the conservative mentality. He/she is even prohibited for inter-caste marriage by their parents as they bear the religious belief behind such thinking, and are also feared by the social consequence that they would have bear for going against the norm of the society.

All in all, though the idea of maintaining faith and benevolence and the religious norms that helps to sustain the marital relationship is commendable in our culture, the aspects like constrained social belief regarding the pre-marital relationship and caste discrimination during marriage are refutable and should be altered. Freedom to choose the life-partner knowing him/her enough before marriage could also be followed as a genuine example, as marriage is not a game of the moment but a play for the life-time.

Author can be contacted at amit.pyakurel@gmail.com

Note from the Nepal Horizons Editorial Team: The views and opinion expressed in this article are that of the author and not of NHC. We request individuals with interest in Nepal to submit their views on contemporary Nepalese issues to the following e-mail address: editor@nepalhorizons.com.  Pictures of contributors or images that relate to submissions are welcome)